Growing up in church doesn't make you a Christian. You don't become a Christian just by osmosis or because your parents are Christians. When I was two months shy of being 10 years old, I said the sinners prayer because I knew Jesus was the Son of God, but more importantly, I didn't want to go to hell. I spent my teenage years going through a lot of turmoil in my life. I didn't measure up to anyone's standards including so I thought my parents, myself, God's, and especially other teenagers standards necessary for popularity. A lot of factors contributed to this. Among them: my dad is an alcoholic, my parents divorced when I was in the first grade, I had a last name that was easy to make fun of, and I wasn't good at sports.
God saw to it that I never acted on my thoughts of suicide. During those teen years, the church was my refuge, because only there did I find "acceptance" and things were "constant". Then in college, I joined a fraternity and here again I didn't feel like I measured up to anyone's standards: mine, my family, my fraternity's, my college's, and especially the standards necessary for popularity. I even failed miserably at dating. During my twenties, God saw me through them as well, but my refuge was again the church and the campus ministry I had become a part of. I graduated from college and worked as a volunteer to high school students with this campus ministry. Then my life hit the thirties. At age 36, not only have I failed myself, family, and everybody I can think of. I really have failed God. It all started when I got mad at God for being single. My life took a downward spiral. My life was a mess professionally, financially, socially, emotionally, and in every other way. Then, God rescued me again. Beginning with the summer of 2002, I began to notice things happening in my life that could only be acts of God. Finally, on December 29th, 2002, I redicated my life back to God, but this time, what I really want to happen is that I will make God my refuge.....not any organization. I can't have a personal relationship with God if I don't get to know the person of Jesus Christ. Not His church, not ministries founded to proclaim His Word, but the living person of Jesus Christ. I decided that I want to know God even as I am known by Him. I want to experience what it means to know God in the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings. I want to experience presenting my body as a living sacrifce which is my reasonable act of worship. The problem I had in the past with being a living sacarice is I kept getting off the altar. I don't want to just know the scripture of Romans 8:15-16 and be able to quote it; I want to experience it. So now, at 11:00 pm CST on Sunday, January 26, 2003, even though I am still single and still not popular in the eyes of the world, one thing is certain....I am a child of God. I am blessed going out and coming in. Everything I put my hand to will prosper. No weapon formed against me will prosper. One thing about fear. Unfortunately, fear cannot only paralyze someone where they don't act. It can also trap someone inside a cell. This cell has thick walls that a person in bondage to fear will be tricked into believing is the most comfortable secure place to be. However, fear is the opposite of faith. And without faith, it's impossible to please God. Faith believes that God exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. I thank God for the peace that passes all understanding. I can't begin to describe how I felt when I confessed my sin to God and claimed the blood of Jesus to cover my sin. It was like a harsh weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I am working through a Bible study at http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com.
By God's grace, I have been set free. Habitual sin is like trying to drink water from broken vessels that can't hold anywater. And the water you do drink is more like sewar water...it does not satisfy. Jesus Christ is the living water. Drinking of the living water is the only way to quench our thirst. I want to hunger and thirst after His righteousness. For me to be holy as He is holy, I have to have His righteousness, which comes from drinking of the living water.
Ps. 30:11 You have turned for me my mouring into dancing.
For more information on having a personal relationship with God, go here.
Sunday, August 31, 2003
A Vision
God gave me a vision this summer of the modern day church and how pharisaical it has become.
A woman caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus. According to the law she was to be stoned. Jesus was being tested to see what He thought. He stooped down and wrote in the sand. No one for sure knows what he was writing, but His silence baffled the crowd. Finally, He stood up and told the crowd that anyone who had no sin (transgression, offense, disobedience, violation, misdemeanor, archer's term for missing the mark of perfection) to start throwing stones first. He then stooped back down and wrote in the sand some more. No one threw any stones and one by one they all left. Jesus stood up and didn't condemn her either. He told her to go an sin no more.
The most incredible thing that we can experience in our human lives is the forgiveness of God. In today's post modern, post Christian society we rank sin as if that is some spiritual task God asked us to do. Actually, God didn't. God's view of sin is this: murder is on the same level as white lies, adultery and divorce are just as sinful for Christians as it is for anyone else. Jesus told us that to hate someone is the same as murder, and that to lust after someone is to have committed adultery already in your heart. Let's face it, if your not perfect then you have sinned, which doesn't leave anyone out. Sin doesn't discriminate. It afflicts the entire human race and grieves God. It grieves God because it breaks off our fellowship with God. Our society has some how come to believe that our religious zealism has elevated us above the Pharisees. But woe to us for thinking such a thing.
In the vision that God gave me, its this post modern, post Christian church that is being faced with the decision of whether to stone the adulterer. And we do!! I remind you that the Pharisees didn't even stone her 2000 years ago. How is it that we have come to such a place where we go ahead and stone her? I don't have a divinity degree or a theology degree so I am not "qualified" to answer. But my thinking is that since we as Christians rank some sins as being more sinful than others, that we have missed the mark ourselves. As I said above, woe to us.
With much forgiveness comes much love. The more God forgives me the more I love Him. I have much that God has forgiven me. He has shown me love that is extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me. One of my favourite choruses goes like this: "Spread wide in the arms of Christ, is the love that covers sin." Christ definately spread wide His arms on the cross. For this, I am truely eternally grateful and thankful. Loving God is the first greatest commandment. The second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as our self. How can we demonstrate love to our neighbor? The same way that God demonstrates His love to us, by offering His forgiveness. Who is our neighbor anyway? Need I remind you of the Good Samaritan?
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
A woman caught in the act of adultery was brought to Jesus. According to the law she was to be stoned. Jesus was being tested to see what He thought. He stooped down and wrote in the sand. No one for sure knows what he was writing, but His silence baffled the crowd. Finally, He stood up and told the crowd that anyone who had no sin (transgression, offense, disobedience, violation, misdemeanor, archer's term for missing the mark of perfection) to start throwing stones first. He then stooped back down and wrote in the sand some more. No one threw any stones and one by one they all left. Jesus stood up and didn't condemn her either. He told her to go an sin no more.
The most incredible thing that we can experience in our human lives is the forgiveness of God. In today's post modern, post Christian society we rank sin as if that is some spiritual task God asked us to do. Actually, God didn't. God's view of sin is this: murder is on the same level as white lies, adultery and divorce are just as sinful for Christians as it is for anyone else. Jesus told us that to hate someone is the same as murder, and that to lust after someone is to have committed adultery already in your heart. Let's face it, if your not perfect then you have sinned, which doesn't leave anyone out. Sin doesn't discriminate. It afflicts the entire human race and grieves God. It grieves God because it breaks off our fellowship with God. Our society has some how come to believe that our religious zealism has elevated us above the Pharisees. But woe to us for thinking such a thing.
In the vision that God gave me, its this post modern, post Christian church that is being faced with the decision of whether to stone the adulterer. And we do!! I remind you that the Pharisees didn't even stone her 2000 years ago. How is it that we have come to such a place where we go ahead and stone her? I don't have a divinity degree or a theology degree so I am not "qualified" to answer. But my thinking is that since we as Christians rank some sins as being more sinful than others, that we have missed the mark ourselves. As I said above, woe to us.
With much forgiveness comes much love. The more God forgives me the more I love Him. I have much that God has forgiven me. He has shown me love that is extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me. One of my favourite choruses goes like this: "Spread wide in the arms of Christ, is the love that covers sin." Christ definately spread wide His arms on the cross. For this, I am truely eternally grateful and thankful. Loving God is the first greatest commandment. The second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as our self. How can we demonstrate love to our neighbor? The same way that God demonstrates His love to us, by offering His forgiveness. Who is our neighbor anyway? Need I remind you of the Good Samaritan?
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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